What a week!!!

Wow, in a matter of a couple days it will be time for my surgery.  Tuesday morning I have to be there at 8:30 for my 9:30 surgery.  By mid-afternoon I hope to be home relaxing.  Relaxing......that is an interesting word.  A word that has not described my week.  A bit stressful is more like it!  It is not like I had one major event that caused me to have a bad week it was just overall a trying week.  I went back to work this week 8 hour shifts since before my ankle injury.  We were expecting corporate company so anyone why does/has worked at Meijer knows that those can be the worse days ever.  I would rather it be Black Friday or Back to College time.  So work was not a happy place for me this week.  Tony's Grandma is in her finally days and imaginably so Tony is not taking that well!  It is hard to see your husband down when you know she has fought a great fight.  No football this week but we did have a few things on the calendar as always to keep up busy.  Tony and I are both sort of in a occupational rut and asking ourselves what do we want out of life, what is important to us?  Wow it stinks to be an adult sometimes!  So you might be saying yeah yeah yeah, how does this effect your surgery?  Well it sucks to be on an 800 Calorie liquid based diet when you have all this stress around you.  I had what I call a so so week with the scale.  I really thought that this week I would see more big numbers but I think my body is just holding on to some fluid I guess for comfort??  LOL  Overall I have followed the diet very well.  Instead of a yogurt a couple of morning I had some mixed fruit, I am sure it was over my 100 calories allotted for my snack but it is fruit for peat sakes.  We did take Tony Subway the other night so I exchanged my weight watchers meal for a 6" sub with veggies and low fat goodies. The only night I feel that I was naughty was Saturday when we had a cookout for a few of the boys from football and I think I was still pretty darn good.  So all in all I guess I feel like I did pretty good so why do I feel like I have been so bad??????  I guess it is just me and my self doubt that I have sometimes.  I have had several people ask me if I am nervous about Tuesday and I really am not.  I told Tony I am more nervous dying of a heart attack or having a stroke down the road.  That is why I need this tool now to make a change in my life.  My friend Dan finished the Chicago Marathon last week and was encouraged by his mentor to "pay it forward".  Well I feel that Dan had already started that by encouraging people like me that if I can do it so can you Jane.  Dan did offer to run my first 5K with me last night I told him maybe someday buddy!  LOL  Whether it is a 5K or what we all need cheerleaders and well I am thankful for those around me who are helping to encourage me along my journey.  Being the biggest girl in school or the big mom sitting over there is not fun and I want others to see the real Jane not the Fat Jane.  I have always had a good self esteem about myself but I almost wonder if things would have been different for me in school and maybe life if I would have not been the big girl.  Well I need to swing this back on a positive track! I am excited  about this week and what a transformation I hope to see over the next year especially.  So I guess when the days are hard remind me why I am doing this.  1st of all I am doing this for Jane, then my husband and kids.  I have never been the person to do something for myself so this is something new.  I may need to be reminded once in a while that I am important too!  Have a great Sunday and hopefully I will have some good updates t share during the week!