Saturday, February 26, 2011

Winter Blues/promises for next week

How many of you are ready for spring?  I know that is a dumb question.  I think we will all agree this has been a long winter. I have had a really tough winter.  Don't get me wrong, things are really bright overall in my life but some days between the weather, work, attitude filled kids, and just the hectic life of a mom of 3 I am ready to throw in the towel.  I have said before that this year I have learned so much about myself and I have learned to communicate how I am feeling better.  Tonight I was looking at a few other Lap Band patients blogs and it made me feel pretty good.  I am not the only one who feels at times my life is going a million miles a minuet.  I am thankful for the other bloggers and posters that I follow who share the silly questions they are asked, the nosy questions they are asked, the doubters that they encounter, and the overall new life of having to buy clothes so often, learning to socialize without food being the center, and just overall emotional changes that we are encountering.  My goal has always been to inform and educate others about the Lap-Band lifestyle.  I have to say there has not been a whole lot to report in regards to my lap band journey lately.  I will do a little updating in case you have missed any recent happenings. 

- I am at a total weight loss of 78 pounds.  I have sort of leveled off.  I am still loosing a 1-2 pounds or more a week so I have not returned for a fill since I am still working it on my own. 

- I have lost a total of 12 BMI points since I started this journey.

- I actually put on a leather coat today that I wore my senior year and I was able to zip it.  Well I am honest I was able to zip it but I am going to give myself a little more time before I wear it since it is still a little snug  but I did zip it for the record.  LOL

-I still amaze myself how little I eat.  We celebrated Raegyn's birthday at Monical's last night and I had two pieces of pizza and a little salad and I was full.  Seems so odd since I could eat at least a half of a pizza and salad several months ago.  Even birthday cake I eat about half the size of a piece.  What a waste of  cake.....LOL 

-Tony told me he was going to try a little different diet plan next week and I was excited about him cutting some/pop out of his diet and a couple of other changes.  I still have not drank any soda since before my surgery.  I REALLY wanted a Diet Coke the other day and I can have some but I am still afraid that if I start with just 1 I will be back to lots of pop in my day.  I never realized how I had allowed myself to become so addicted to pop. 

-The gym.  I wish I could say that I go 3 times a week or more as I wanted but......life is hectic at times.  My work schedule has changed again so it makes it a little more difficult for me to get there while the kids are at school so I have to just make a plan to hustle there right from work or go after the kids are home and there is daycare at the gym.  My goal is to next week get to the gym 3 times or more.  Make sure you ask me if I have been.  Hold me accountable! 

-Protein.  I think I burned myself out on protein shakes but I think I need to get back into getting more protein in my life.  I just read an article about the link of lack of protein in post weight loss surgery patients and depression.  I prefer to not call myself depressed I prefer to call it overwhelmed.  I do think that there may be some link to the lack of protein in my diet specifically since I do not eat a lot of meat and me feeling a little overwhelmed so my goal this week is to have a shake a day to get some more protein in my diet and see if that gives me a little boost.  Sure can not hurt!

Well as you see I am still doing great, loving my weight loss tool but also feeling that I am getting a little lazy in my visits to the gym and my protein intake so.....come Monday protein and gym are back in my daily living. 

Hope all is well with you and you are able to do something for yourself today!  Take care! 

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine's Day!!

So today is Valentines Day 2011!  I have to say that this is not a big holiday for Tony and I since we both work retail and well we are always both working.  So the other day I reminded Tony that we still needed to pick up a little something for Seth.  I then went on to ask him if he had taken care of his Valentine yet.  I promptly said, " well I figured I would do the usual standby and get her flowers and a card....Do you think she would be happy with that?"  I responded by saying...."I think she wants gym shoes."  So on Tuesday I get to go pick out some shoes for the gym!  Well he surprised me by making a nice picture from one of our wedding pictures  and wrote the lyrics on it from "Could not ask for more" by Edwin McCain.  We had that played as out first dance and it truly does describe us.  Then he surprised me by making a video that he put on Facebook.  I have the BEST husband ever! 

Valentines Day video Tony made for me!



I was very moved this morning when I watched this video before work.  First of all my husband ROCKS, and then I determined I ROCK!  When I watched the video I could not help be notice that in some ways Tony has a new wife.  I have never been a small girlfriend/wife while with Tony.  I think maybe I was 275 when he started dating but I think it was closer to 280+   I am so glad that I am able to snuggle up closer to him now that those 75 pounds are gone.  If I keep staying determined to be successful at reclaiming my healthy it may start to appear Tony found himself a new woman.  Well he sort of has;  I am more confident in who I am, more comfortable with my body, and far more determined than I EVER gave myself credit for. 

I want to wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day and I hope you are able to find some joy in the day and especially if the sun is shining for you like it is for me today here in Thomasboro.  Have a blessed day! 



This picture was from Friday February 11th when I hit 250 pounds.  YEAH ME!!!! 

Friday, February 11, 2011

Emotions!

There is no way to put into words the emotional roller coaster I have been on lately.  Sometimes I feel like my head is spinning.  Come on into my world for a second but maybe buckle your seat belt for safety!  As you have noticed this blog is primarily about life as a banded woman but I am so much MORE  than just a woman who decided to have the Lap Band procedure and has embraced it for all it is worth.  I am a mom to 3 wonderful kids.  Biologically I have only carried one of my three children and that was Raegyn who is almost 6....that is so hard to believe.  I have raised Seth since he was a month shy of being 3 and McKenna was 19 months when I started dating their dad.  So pretty much I have been there for a lot of the major things in their lives.  Days especially with Seth can be rocky.  Seth has a few challenges that we have had to overcome in regards to some emotional needs.  So at almost 11 my days sometimes feel like I am on a major roller coaster with him.  This week has been a rough week here at the Sprandel house to say the least.  Tony and I see a wonderful Child Psychologist that has helped us learn how to get through the tough days.  She is such a wonderful Doctor.  Not only does she treat the child but she looks at the whole family unit and of late I feel like I have been under a little bit of scrutiny.  Not bad scrutiny just her being honest and pointing about that I have had a hell of a year.  In June I tore a tendon in my ankle and had to have reconstructive ankle surgery and acquired some medical bills because the responsible party choose to not take any responsibility.  Then in October I took a major leap of faith and decided to have my lap band procedure performed and it has been life changing!  For the best I have to add.  My dad and I talk a lot  and one day I pointed out to him that I seemed to have passed my psych exam with flying colors because I was truly doing my surgery for all of the right reasons.....health not beauty or other things.  What I did not really expect when I was preparing for my surgery was a few things, I did not realize how much attention I would get from losing weight.  I have always been an obese person even as a child so it is still odd to me when people comment on how I look in something or how "skinny" I am getting.  I am learning to take the compliments and really accept in my mind that maybe I do look nice and that I do look less obese.  It is odd to explain how it feels to get attention for your weight when it use to be getting attention because you were the blunt of the fat joke.  Another emotional roller coaster I have had to buckle  up for on this journey is the idea of "grieving food."  I have talked about this before, you can name any restaurant and I can tell you instantly what I would have and maybe even be able to taste it in my taste buds but then after that split second  I realize that I probably will not be able to eat that particular item anymore.  When I say grieve I do not burst into tears but sometimes for a split second I think, "will I ever eat that again?"  I am very lucky in that I like to taste/try  things off Tony's plate or the kids.  Usually one fry is enough to satisfy my need for McDonald's fries for example.  I have some foods that I have not been able to tolerate since my surgery and then there are some foods that I can occasionally eat, so ordering out especially is a challenge some days for me.   The other day I was watching Oprah,  which I typically do not do, and she had on Jennifer Hudson and she was talking about her amazing weight loss using Weight Watchers and she spoke about when shopping she is always still looking at the "big girl" clothes.  Wow can I relate to that.  I am just not willing to try on smaller things in fear of what if they do not fit.  Today I wore a new outfit and Tony complimented me on it and then commented that maybe I could have gotten a smaller pair of jeans even.  I agreed but that is where it is shocking for me to have been wearing a 28 in October and bought a pair of 22's and a 20 yesterday.  Maybe I should have skipped the 22's since that is what I am wearing right now and I could have passed them up since they probably will not be in the closet long. 
So emotions are really flowing in my life lately.  Usually they are good emotions but we have our  days were I try to stay calm as a wife and mother, I have days I question why I still work where I work, there are also times where I am learning to love my new body and the attention I get from people, and I will not even get into the hormonal imbalance that I think major weight loss has caused my body to experience.  I am so glad that I chose to make a change that will forever impact my future health.  I am so thankful for my patient and loving husband as my roller coaster or emotions are not always pretty!  I am also appreciative of my friends and family who are always there when I need to chat or just need to read something that perks me up.  I am really hoping that tomorrow will be an emotional day of different sorts.  I am hoping to hit the 75 pound mark tomorrow.  I hit the 250 mark a couple of days ago and now I am .2 pounds away from 75 pounds total.  When the scale shows me the big number you will probably hear  me celebrate!  Emotions are not a bad thing it just depends on how you let them affect your day.  I am trying very hard on the tough days to be thankful for all the positive around me that is going on.  Have a blessed day and I look forward to hearing from or seeing many of you soon! 

Monday, February 7, 2011

Super Bowl XLV and other recent happenings

Hello faithful followers!  So I wish I had lots of great numbers to report this post but I have a lot of growths to share and some recent updates at the Sprandel house! 

I guess I will start with the most recent and that would be Super Bowl XLV (45)  As many of you know I became a Steelers fan when I started dating my wonderful husband.  I grew up a Bears fan as a child and was really hoping for a Bears vs Steelers Super Bowl but it did not end up that way.  Instead the Steelers took on the Green Bay Packers.  For the past 8 years Tony and I have spent the last  8 Super Bowls at a Party. The first year (as "Friends") and then the next 7 here in our home hosting a party.  This year was no different.  The night was planned with festive decorations, lots of yummy food and friends and family.  Mid morning I recognized their was a little problem.  As the good cook that I am I had to taste 1 meatball and 2 little wienies for quality assurance you know!  Well from then on I could not keep any food down or even water.  Can you imagine.....I have spent some time planning, shopping for, preparing and now I can not eat any of my creations??  That was bad!!!  The Game was well a bit of a nail biter and as you may know The Green Bay Packers did end up beating the Steelers.  The Sprandel Family took the loss well and frankly I was pretty much feeling a little frustrated and scared that I did not get to shook up with the loss.  I went to bed hoping I had a touch of a virus and nothing was wrong with my band.  I have never had this go on this long where I could not even drink water.  This morning I woke up and I still could not keep water down.  By mid day I was able to keep some soup down and then more textured food.  Thank GOD!  I was ready to call my surgeon to see if I should come in and have them check me out to make sure I had not had a slippage or something.  When you get a slippage or something like that.....back to the operating room you go.  So I was honestly concerned.  Thankfully I think it was just a  little touch of something. 

Saturday January 29th and Thur Feb 3rd were Tony and I's birthdays so we had scheduled a night way to Schuamburg so that we could go to Woodfield mall and then spend the night up there and celebrate our birthdays.  Well if you look at what date my birthday was you all know that we ended up getting snowed in on that Wednesday and so I spent my birthday home with my wonderful husband and kids.  I was disappointed but I am trying to plan a second try at our getaway in the coming weeks.  What is funny is I was really looking forward to eating while we were gone.  I know, but sometimes a couple of bites of something is so worth it to get the craving sufficed.  We had planned on getting cheesecake at the Cheese Cake Factory and eating by the fireplace in our room after getting out of the hot tub....still looking forward to that.  So we had nice birthdays with our immediate family and we had done dinner with Tony's family so that was really nice. 

Another thing that has happened in the last week or so since my last post......the scale has not been very nice.  Now let me explain how I feel about this.  I am not as distraught as I figured I would be.  I set a goal to be 250 by February 3rd on my 35th birthday.  Well I only had 1 pound to go and then........boom here came what I am hoping is only water weight.  I have been having a few female problems and so I am thinking that is the main culprit but I also know that since I was still getting over my respiratory virus I had not been to the gym then we had the blizzard so the treadmill and I have not be on a date for a couple of weeks now I think.  Yikes!  I sure miss it.  We have a hot date tomorrow at 1!  So my birthday came and the scale did not read what I wanted.....I remembered what I weighed last birthday and though  wow you have come a long way.  Another reason why I will not let that silly scale get me down is because those Levi's actually fit better now than when I bought them and I continue to put pants in my to big celebration bag.  I guess I should add this about the bag......I have  big gift bag that has balloons on the outside of it.  After the holidays I found it and instead of storing it with the other birthday bags I decided to make it my "celebration bag" all my clothes that are to big go in the bag to be give to others or donated.  Each time I put something in the bag I celebrate my success.  So I am sure when the scale does hit 250 I will be just as happy even if it is a week late or so. 

So life as a banded woman has its ups and downs but overall I am still so happy with my results.  I will be so glad when spring gets here since I am itching to get outside and do some walking and stuff. Hope you are finding some peace in the challenges you face each day.  As much as I want to throw my scale some days I am thankful that it helps me stay accountable and reminds me to be thankful for even the days it is only ounces that I lose!  Take care!