Sunday, May 15, 2011

The Journey

Like anything in our lives, weight loss is a journey.  It is also something that is highly affected by the things around us.  This past week I have been under a little bit of stress and as usual my schedule has been very hectic.  Summer ball is in full swing now with the games starting tomorrow!  This past week I did a little more eating out than usual and I made some scotcharoos so I may have not been eating more at any sitting but I probably, well most defiantly, was eating more calories at each setting.  I continue to weigh everyday and we have beat it over the head many times that this is not always wise since the scale likes to fluctuate by about 2-3 pounds lately.  This week was also pretty hectic and I did not get any workouts in per say.  With all this said....I feel great and I am told that I look wonderful. 

Last night the girls and I had a girls night out.  We went and seen the play, A Mid Summers Dream by William Shakespeare.  It was performed by the Rantoul Theater Group and the girls and I really enjoyed it.  A  couple of people we know were in it and I felt that is would be a great way to introduce the girls to some Shakespeare and for them to get some more cultural experience.  Something that we defiantly will do again.  Matter of fact McKenna is thinking about auditioning for a winter play that will have kids in it!  I told her we would support her if that is something she wants to try.  We started our night out at Steak n Shake which I think I have decided is not a place we will be going since I just struggle with burger so badly there and well most places.  I get sick of just vegetable soup so we will see if Steak n Shake becomes only a shake place for me.  :)   We then went to Meijer where we took Tony some dinner but most importantly we went so he could see his pretty ladies.  It is so hard to believe how this weight loss has transformed me so much not just in pounds.  I want to look more feminene, I am starting to wear clothes that are a little more sexier and most importantly I have so much more confidence as an attractive woman again.  Tony always says it feels like he has a new wife!  I feel like a new wife, mom and woman!  Here are a couple of pics from last nights girls night out! 

It is so amazing even to me how much I have changed.  I know that the doctors and others have told me to quit worrying about what the scale says and look at what changes I have gone through, evaluate how I feel ect.  I am starting to believe that.    As a recap I have not had a "fill" since December 7th and I am suppose to do those every 4-5 weeks but I am still working the program. The doctor told me that since I have made some a lifestyle change that he wanted me to determine when I needed the bands help.  At this time I am the one who is making my weight loss continue.  The band is there as a resource but it is my constant work and persistence that is paying off for me right now.   Once and a while I think about going in just to get a little fluid put in to restrict me a little more and then I ask myself am I doing all I can to help myself and the answer is usually no.  So I try to refocus on eating 100% correctly overall and getting more exercise in.  When I look at the things I can affect I am able to get back on the right track.  It is hard sometimes especially when I had weeks I was losing almost 10 pounds a week and now I am down to like 1 a week which is very normal but reminding my brain that can sometimes be a challenge. 

This week will be busy with baseball starting games, t-ball and softball practice , board of education meeting, and then the big 5K that I have been helping to plan.  So I have a busy week coming up.  I hope that you have been doing something for yourself to make life healthier, more enjoyable but most of all do it for yourself which in turn makes you a better; spouse, parent, child, friend, employee, ect.  Have a blessed day and week!  Jane

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Mothers Day Edition In Honor of my mom

So it is the eve before Mother's day and I sit here thinking of my mom.  Some of my followers are new so let me tell you a little about my mom.  I was one of those girls who had the best mom in the world.  She was not only an awesome mom but also my best friend.  I had 31 great years with my mom!  My mom died on May 21, 2007 at the age of 50 of Congestive Heart Failure.  My mom was not an obese person, overall lived a healthy lifestyle but she unfortunately had an extensive family history of heart disease.  She also had Factor 5 Leiden which is a blood clotting disorder and she was diabetic.  When someone beccomes ill and has other health problems they seem to really gang up on them.  My mom had a few stints put in through the years and in '05 she had a double bypass done.  Overall she did pretty good after the bypass but on November 14,2006 her life changed forever.  She ended up going into respiratory failure and when they had to inti bate her throat was injured and eventually on December 27th she had to have a tracheotromy done to help save her life that she lived with until her death.  I tell some of these details because of many reasons;  my mom never complained with everything she had going on with her, she always fought, always put a smile on for her grand kids, and overall always thought she was going to beat all these hurdles.  She inspired me to always fight and that helped lead me to the decision to do my lap band surgery.  I can not control my heredity but I could do something about my weight. 

At the age of 31, I grew up more that year  than probably any year of my life.  I seen my mom, my best friend, the strongest person I know slowly slip away from us.  I have always been told that I am a strong person, mature and brave person.  All of which I got from my mom.  In the last week of my mom's life I had 1 of the hardest discussions with her.....I told her on the Wednesday before she passed on Monday that it was okay to say enough is enough.  That with my faith I knew that possibly the only man who could heal her was our Lord and that maybe here on earth was not where she would be healed.  On that day she told me she wanted to keep fighting so for the next few days I did everything I could do to get my mom the best care that she could get.  On that Monday morning my dad called and told me she had a really bad night and I needed to come to Bloomington to the hospital.  Before I seen my mom, I seen one of my favorite clergy people named Rose Mary and I told her how a few days prior I had told my mom it was okay to allow the Lord to heal her but I felt possibly my mom was holding on for us.  I asked for Rose Mary to talk to my mom and let her know it it was okay.  Well about 2:30 that afternoon Rose Mary talked and Prayed with my mom.  She reassured my mom that we loved her, would always be right by her side but also knew that maybe she would not have 100% healing on this Earth.  She reassured mom that we would always miss her, but always love her and know that she was with us.  Well on that evening my dad left around 5pm to spend time with my sister since he had been pretty much at the hospital every night that my mom was there which was I think about 60 days from November to May.  Dad left and I sat with mom holding her hand, listening to CMT and really just relaxing and sleeping.  Well around 7:30 while talking to my dad whom the nurse asked me to call since her vitals had been changing a little I realized that my mom had passed away.  For the longest time I thought she had it all planned, waited till my dad was gone and her best friend and strong daughter was sitting there to go to heaven. I don't know if maybe as I sat there with her she may have went from my loving hand onto her Heavenly Fathers, earthly fathers, brother, sister, most importantly my Sister Cindy's hands.  I will not know until I am able to touch her hand again.  I feel her presence all the time in my life as a mother and wife.  She taught me well.  Okay grab another Kleenex!  I miss my mom everyday but I know she is with us, healthy again and I will see her again! 

God gives us gifts for only a short time.  I wish I could have had my mom much longer but I am thankful for the relationship that we had.  I am thankful for all that she taught me on how to be a mom.  I am thankful for the example my parents modeled for me in their marriage.  I know that my kids miss their Grammie but they know she is always looking down on them and is so proud of the kids they are each and everyday. 

My mom taught me so much!  Sometimes when things are tough following my diet, working out, or just trying to make healthy choices I remember all my mom went through and if this helps me live longer it is so worth the sacrifice! 

If you are missing your mom this weekend I feel your pain. If your mom is still with you.....give her an extra special kiss this weekend.  Mend any problems in your relationships with your moms or kids.  Life is short believe me.  I have no regrets I know that the 31 years I spent with my mom were about as good as any daughter and mom could ask for! 

I love you and miss you mom! 

Thursday, May 5, 2011

What a great day!

I feel like a million bucks lately.  I have a lot of personal stress in my life right now but when I start to let my self get a little overwhelmed I try to remember how many obstacles I have overcome lately.  The stresses that I am encountering may be hard but they can be concurred too! 

As far as weight loss.....well I have learned that sometimes it is not what the scale says but how I feel, look and what I am able to wear.  What a transformation I have made lately.  In October my jeans were a size 28 well now if I have a pair of jeans on that look decent on me and are not falling off of me they must be my size 18 ones.  18 can you believe that?  I can't I am so excited.  I bought an XL shirt the other day and it looked really cute on me.  Every morning when I weigh and the scale just sits there, I take a big breath, thank the Lord that I did not gain, praise myself for all my hard work and go get some clothes that are now fitting just right because I just bought them during my last thrifting trip or wear what is clean and well probably is falling off of me.  I am needing to go on a hunt this weekend for some more pants especially.

It cracks me up how people respond to me.  I had several people last week from my hometown who said they barely recognized me.  That is so flattering to me.  I was mistaken for someones sister the other day and my response was....your sister is a twig and they are you!  I would not go that far but thank you!

I am so busy lately!  All three kids are playing ball this summer.  Seth baseball, McKenna softball and Raegyn t-ball.  Add on the end of the school year activities for the kids, school board,  helping plan the Thomasboro Pack the Park 5K and Kids Run, working, and just trying to be the best mom and wife that I can be I am one busy lady lately.  I am so looking forward to sunshine and and a wonderful summer.  We will get a pool pass again this year, go to the library often, go to Ohio to a christian rock fest at Kings Island and then Kentucky Lake for a week long vacation.  Wow when will it ever slow down?  So now you can understand why it has been a week since my last post. 

I learn more each day with my band.  Today we went to Dos Realos for Cinco De Myo day and I had a cheese enchilada instead of a chicken one and.....I did not get sick!  I am really learning what I can tolerate and what seems to give me problems but I am learning how to deal with foods that wants to be difficult. 

I am so thankful for all the things going on in my life.  Like I said I have been super busy recently and I think my summer will continue to be hectic and there is some other drama in my life but these things only make us stronger. 

I have had a couple of suggestions for Top 10 Lists so maybe over the weekend I will work on a couple of those!  Have a great Friday and I will do my best to keep a bright smile on my face!