Top Ten comments made since my surgery.

• Number 10  WHAT IS YOUR GOAL WEIGHT?  Well my original goal before surgery was 225 but then I changed it to 200.  I have said that the ultimate goal may be 175 but once I hit the 200 pound mark I will probably take that 10 pounds at a time.  I don't believe I need to let the scale dictate my success.
• Number 9 WHEN ARE YOU HAVING THE BAND REMOVED? Well my goal is never!  If a band is removed it is usually because there is a major problem.  My band is apart of me!
• Number 8  CAN YOU EAT THAT?  Well if I am putting it in my mouth I probably can eat it or in logic I will be able to.  There are really no foods that you can not eat.  I choose to not drink pop and really alcohol.  Many foods like breads, rices, etc do not work well.  For me personally meat is not usually my friend either.  If you want to be successful you should try to also limit your sweets, high fat and calorie foods too. 
• Number 7 IS TONY GAINING ALL OF YOUR WEIGHT?  No  is the answer.  I do feel bad that in the beginning I do think he gained a few of mine because of the whole, don't waste food idea.  We are all a lot better about not doing that.  I think since I am now a hundred pound lighter and I was always about 50 pounds heavier than Tony, it looks like he is alot bigger than me.  Not that this is not encouragement for tony :) 
• Number 6 AREN'T YOU AFRAID YOU WILL GAIN IT ALL BACK?  Well since this is a lifestyle change I plan to not gain it back.  Can it happen??  Well sure it can....it is weight loss.  The band will always be a tool in my tool box.  I have to continue all the other things that have helped make my transformation successful.
• Number 5  ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE PLASTIC SURGERY?  Well that is a good question.  I would like to say at this time no.  I am not a terribly vain person.  Tony seen all the skin when it was full of fat so I guess now we know I am that much more healthier he will still love me.  I do feel that I need to work harder on strength training to firm up but lets face it some will never be gone.  IF it becomes a medical issue or something I may have to do something but at this time no plans due to cosmetic wants.
• Number 4 DON'T YOU WISH YOU WOULD HAVE DONE IT SOONER?  That is a loaded question.  I wish I was ready sooner.  I was not ready to change my whole life forever until about a year ago.  Once I was ready for a forever change the time was right.  I am glad that I recognized it was time. 
• Number 3 YOU WERE ALWAYS SO PRETTY.  Well I agree but I would hope I look prettier now.  :) What the truth is, that my body and my soul were not healthy. I always had a good self esteem but my weight was starting to play with that and my general every day living.  It was time for a health change not a beauty change.  I have always been and will always be beautiful.   
• Number 2 DO YOU REGRET TAKING THE "EASY WAY " OUT TO LOSE WEIGHT? What did I sign up for the wrong surgery???  Lap-Band surgery is far from an easy way to loose weight.  This may be one of the hardest but yet rewarding things I have ever done in my life.
• Number 1  YOU DID NOT HAVE SURGERY DID YOU???  I have had this asked of me many times very rudely.  I take a big breath, smile and say yes, I did have Lap Band surgery.  I am not ashamed to share my story and let people know this is what was right for me. 

I truly enjoy sharing my journey with all of you.  Please do not feel bad if you have ever asked any of these questions you are not alone.  It is not bad.  Many people do not share as openly as I do about having Lap Band.  I am not ashamed that I needed help.  I want to help others too so if you know someone who may be thinking about weight loss surgery, trying to lose weight in general or someone who may enjoy reading my journey feel free to share my links and my information.  I love helping and talking to new people.  Have a blessed week! 
Jane

100 pounds gone so I have 100 facts/comments to share

This list in in no particular order but mearly things that I have learned, experienced, encountered etc along this journey.  I am so glad that I get to share this journey with so many of you.  As always feel free to ask questions and make comments! 

1. LOVE:  if it had not been for the love from my family especially my husband Tony I don't think I could have been this successful!
2. PATIENCE: With any journey you have to have patience...not one of my strong traits.
3. FAITH:  I have faith in the Lord and I know that I have never been alone in this journey.
4. DETERMINATION:  I am determined to succeed in this.
5. CONFIDENCE: My confidence seems to grow with each pound lost.
6. SELF IMAGE: I have a much better self image of myself now. 
7. TRUST: I have had to learn to trust the process and trust that I can do this!
8. ACCOUNTABILITY: In the end I am accountable to myself.  The scale keeps me accountable and my band does too. 
9. MENTOR: I seem to have become a mentor to others not only those who are trying to loose weight but people who want to make good health choices in general.  (This has been an honor)
10. SACRIFICES:Every time I have had to make a sacrifice I know that in the end there will be benefits and boy do I see and feel the benefits.
11. WILLPOWER: For the first time in my adult life I feel like I have control and willpower to tell myself that I can withstand the temptations of bad things in my life.
12. ATYPICAL: I am an atypical case.  I have lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time.  Also I have far fewer fills than most typical Lap Band patients. 
13. DEPRESSION: Typically people with major weight loss tend to also suffer from depression.  I prefer to call it just me feeling over whelmed.  It is okay to ask for help taking the edge off!
14. LIFELONG: This is a lifelong decision.  The band is a part of my "new" lifestyle. 
15. EDUCATING: I have taken it as one of my new passions to inform and educate others about Lap Band and choosing a new life overall.  We all can make little changes in our lives.
16. EMOTIONAL: Even with a psych evaluation I did not realize how emotional this journey would be.  My whole life has changed.  Weight affected everything practically in my life.
17. SELF DISCOVERY: I have learned alot about myself in the past 9 months.
18. EMOTIONAL EATING: I will admit that I was an emotional eater.  I still am....defiantly not as bad and my band reminds me why that is not wise.  I have had to learn new ways to deal with emotions rather than putting food in my mouth.  This will always be a work in progress. 
19. JEALOUSY: I think it is hard for someone to see someone lose weight and not be jealous so I think I have seen the ugly jealousy monster come out a few times but I try not to take it personally, I just try to educate and inspire them.
20. TO EASY: I have struggled at times if I have made this weight loss look to easy....believe me it has not been easy!
21. PROTEIN: This is extremely important prior to surgery and after.  I have drank alot of protein shakes in the last nine months.  I still struggle getting enough protein sometimes.
22. MEAT: Well meat is very hard to tolerate for Lap Band patients and I am included.  I truly go in cycles but I eat very little meat since it does not agree with me. 
23. VEGETABLES: I love vegetables.  As long as things are pretty soft and I can cut them small and chew them well, vegetables are my friend.
24. FRUIT: I do not really do any fruit that has skins or is extremely fibrous.
25. FIELD GREENS: I have learned that I tolerate field greens much better than regular lettuce.
26. SALADS: I eat alot of salad.  I do a lot of chopping up of it but it is a great healthy meal anytime.
27. PASTA: I only can tolerate regular spaghetti noodles when it is fresh or lasagna.  Larger shaped noodles and I do not do well.
28. SAUCE: I tend to put alot of condiments on stuff to help them go down easier.
29. FRIES:  I really have a hard time with french fries.  Including McDonald's fries which are my favorite. 
30. BAKED POTATOES: These have become a good stand by especially when dining out.
31. SOUP: I still eat alot of soup but I really tried to ween myself off of  soup and force myself to eat other things that I had to eat slower and chew better.
32. NO FRIED FOODS: I have learned from experience that fried foods and I do not do well together.  This is not a bad thing.  Just hard when I want something like that  and it does not agree.
33. BREADS/RICE/DESSERTS: I do not do well with any bread or rice.  As far as cookies, cakes etc....I can only do a few bites.  Again not all bad!
34. POPCORN: This is one of my favorite items to eat.  I have learned to make it with less oil and butter.
35. PIZZA: I can not tolerate any crust except for about 3 pieces of  Monical's Pizza. 
36. WATER/CRYSTAL LIGHT/POP: I only drink water and crystal light.  I was a huge diet coke addict and I have not even had 1 sip for pop since around Oct 16th.
37. EATING SLOW: I have had to learn how to eat very slow.  It usually takes me a while to eat.  This has been an adjustment for my family.  I often take short breaks while eating to help things digest.
38. CHEW WELL: Since the band works like a funnel you have to have things chewed up or things do not go down and we all know what happens when things get stuck.
39. "SLIMMING": What a gross word.  Well in essence your body know when things are "stuck" so it creates mucus to move the food.  Well either it helps the food move down to the stomach or it ends up helping it up.  So when I get "sick" it is not a normal vomiting situation.  It is more like mucus and a little food.  I know....new subject. 
40. PORTIONS: I compare the amount of food I eat at one time to what a toddler would eat.  It is about a cup of food.
41. EATING OUT: This use to be a big part of my life.  I love to still eat out but it is very difficult for me.  I find it sometimes hard to find something I know I can tolerate, since I eat very little I hate to pay big money, and there is always the chance I will not tolerate something and end up walking or in the ladies room.
42. TOLERATE: It may be late to explain the word tolerate but here goes.  When my band does not like something or seems to be a little tight I get a tight/cramping/burning feeling. I have learned that sometimes if I get up and walk to the rest room or something sometimes that can make the food move, other times I end up allowing myself to relieve itself and that usually allows me to go back to my dining experience.
43. CHEAP DATE: Tony always says I am a cheap date since I eat very little and always order water when out.
44. CAR EATING: I can not eat in a car.  Not sure if it is the motion or what but does not work.
45. NO RHYME OR REASON: Sometimes an item that I hardly ever have a problem with can be a problem.  Also because meat is a a hit or miss I continue to try a little meat when I can. 
46. SHARING: I do alot of sharing with Raegyn.  I do not eat much and sometimes I want just a bite of something so I do a lot of sampling of things from my family mearly to satisfy the craving for something sometimes.
47. HEALTHY CHOICES:  I try really hard to make good choices being that I am not able to eat large amounts of foods I have to get the best food for me in first.
48. M&M'S: This too is one of my weaknesses.  I have become a big fan of M&M's in the last several months.  If they have almonds in them they are classified as healthy right???
49. NEW WARDROBE: Well when you loose 100 pounds as fast as I have you really rotate your closet pretty fast. 
50. GOODWILL: This is my favorite place to pick up clothes.
51. SALVATION ARMY: We have two of these in Champaign Urbana and I like one better than the other but I try to stop in for my clothing needs.
52. KAREN'S KLOSET: This is a consignment shop in Champaign Urbana and I love going there.  I even consign my clothes there so then I can use my store credit to buy more clothes.
53. JEWELRY: I have found that now I am changing my life so much I am dressing a little more nicer and defiantly more femine and I love to look for jewelry at all my thrifting stops.
54. SWIMSUIT: I bought a new swimsuit and trying them on was almost an enjoyable experience.
55. SIZE 28 PANTS/30-32 4x SHIRTS:  This is about what size I was wearing on a typical day before surgery.
56. SIZE 18 PANTS/18-20 2X SHIRTS: What I typically wear now.
57. FAVORITE CLOTHES: It is always sad when I have to get rid of one of my favorite items because it looks terrible on me.
58. TONY/SETH CLOTHES:  I now can be found in Tony's closet and even I have bought a few things for Seth and then kept them for myself. 
59. GARAGE SALES:I have always loved them but now I am always looking for new clothes for me and exercise equipment.
60. GYM MEMBERSHIP: I have a gym membership in Rantoul for the first time in my life.  I have not been going very often lately but counting down the days till Seth is back to football and I will head to the gym and the girls can hang out in the kid center. 
61. CELEBRATION BAG: I have a huge gift bag that has balloons on it.  As something gets to big it goes in the bag and then when the bag is full I take it to consign or donate. 
62. SCALE: I weigh every morning.  This is sort of a good and bad thing.  It is good because it keeps me accountable but bad because the female body especially fluctuates so that is frustrating. 
63. NEW BIKE: For mothers day I got a new bike.  It had a basket and a bell even!
64. GARDENING: This is one of my new hobbies.  We planted a garden and I have several plants and pots of flowers around my home.
65. BLOG: Well as you see I have began to blog and I love it. I try to do it often but sometimes I get busy.
66. CHAMBANAMOMS.COM:  I was a guest blogger on the April 19th post.  Great article and I hope to be able to share more of my story.
67. LESS KNEE PAIN:  I have had two knee surgeries and really need a replacement but now that I have lost weight and become more active my knee feels so much better.  Hoping to put off replacement for many decades.
68. FEET DO NOT HURT: I have to say that my feet feel so much better with less pressure on them too.
69. COLLAR BONE: It is crazy to be able to feel and somewhat see my collar bone. 
70. BONES/MUSCLES: As my body is changing it is crazy for me to be able to feel my bones and my defined muscle groups so much easier.
71. ENERGY: This is a huge one.  I feel like a million bucks!
72. FAMILY PLANNING: We have made the decision that we will probably always be a family of five.  As I get older and our kids continue to get more active I think it is time for me to focus on me.  So my dream of another pregnancy is probably not something we are going to pursue any longer.
73. SILLY QUESTIONS:  I encourage people to ask questions but sometimes they are down right silly.
74. MEDICATIONS: I am off all of my medications for diabetes and blood pressures.  I only take stuff for maintenance at this point. 
75. GRIEVING FOOD: I know it sounds silly but sometimes it is sad when I want a certain food but I know it won't agree with me.  Fried foods, really spicy things, and most meat.
76. SOCIALIZATION WITHOUT FOOD: Face it we live in a world that socially revolves around food.  This bothers the people around me more than it bothers me.  Eat, be happy, and enjoy the time together with me.
77. QUIET ENVIRONMENT:It seems odd but when I am having a hard time eating I  have to have a quiet environment. 
78. SEAT BELTS:  I know it seems odd but it feels great to be able to buckle all of the seat belts in the vehicles that I go in.
79. CROSS MY LEGS: I sit like a lady alot more.  I will be sitting there and realize that my legs are all crossed lady like....because I now can comfortably.
80. INDIAN STYLE: I was at the pool one day and I realized I was sitting there on my chair Indian style and it has been like forever since I have done that comfortably.
81. NEW LOOK: I have a new look about me now.  I did cut my hair a little shorter and I have new glasses along with my new smaller body.
82. UNRECOGNIZED: I find it humorous when people say they barely recognize me. 
83. BIGGEST LOSER: Favorite show!!!  I love to watch the transformations of these contestants.  I am able to relate to them often.
84. HEAVY: This show is shown on A&E I really like this one too since it shows more of the psychological aspect of major weight loss.
85. EXTREME WEIGHT LOSS.  This is a new one on ABC it is not my favorite but it still inspires me and I love to see how much a person can change in 365 days.  There are some things that I do not care for in this show so I give it mixed reviews. 
86. THE SLIDE: McKenna and I decided to add this one!  When we were in St.Louis at the City Museum there is a big slide that the kids were going down and I decided that I too was going to go down it also.  Things like this are all new experiences for me as a mom.  I am more daring to try new things now since I feel more physically able and I know I will fit.
87. FILLS: I have only had two fills since my surgery.  I want to work the program as much as I can on my own.  Typically people get fills every 4-5 weeks.  I had one December 7th and then again on June 16th. 
88. BUSY LIFE: As a mom of three kids who works full time I am very busy.  My husband works second shift so many of the sports and school events fall on my shoulders so I am always on the go.  I try not to use this as an excuse to not exercise but it does make it hard to get to the gym.  I am looking forward to football so I can head back to the gym while Seth is at practice.
89. PEOPLES OPINIONS ABOUT SURGERY:  Most people have totally supported my choice to have this surgery.  I have gotten some negative feedback and a couple of those," you didn't have surgery did you?"  I proudly say yes I did and I am so glad that I did so that I have 1 more tool to fight against  obesity.
90. BMI: Body mass index started at 48 and I am currently at 32.1
91. 5K: I helped organize a 5K this spring to benefit our sports department and McKenna actually jogged/walked it.  We are planning on walking a 5K together soon. 
92. OBSTACLES: In life there are always obstacles.  I have found that I can succeed with any obstacle that comes my way. 
93. PACE: I sometimes have wished that the pace of my weight loss were going faster but I never thought within 9 months I would hit my 100 loss mark.  I was hoping for by my 1 year anniversary on October 19th.
94. DAD: I will say that my dad took the idea of me doing the surgery far better than I expected.  I am so thankful for his love, support and encouragement during this time. 
95. FRIENDS: I have some of the best friends around.  I am a very open person and I am always so proud of my milestones and I often text them immediately with the good news.  It was really hard to not text people today at 4:20 am when I got on the scale!
96. DR. ROHRSCHEIB:  I am so thankful for a great doctor who has performed my lap band and seen me through this journey.
97. DR. WALKER: The first time I meet my new primary and told him I needed his help to make a change in my health so that I could see my kids grow up he asked me what I thought about Lap Band.  Gutsy move but I am so glad he took the risk.  Best thing that could have happened to me.
98. SUPPORT:  Without the support of my family, friends and medical personnel I don't think I would have ever dreamt I would be writing this. 
99. "BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.TRUST THE PROCESS. CHANGE FOREVER!"  This is one of my favorite quotes along my journey.
100. PHILIPPIANS  4:13: "I can do everything through him who gives me strength"

I look forward to continuing to share  my journey with you.  My next goal that I would like to meet is to become ONEderful.  I am looking forward to weighing 199.  So I guess I better get working on my next goal.  Thanks again for all of your love, support, prayers and dedication to my journey! 

Love, Jane

Is it time for us to take a more active role in our childs future???

So today I had a very sobering moment,one that I am a little shook up about.  I have come to the realization that we as parents may have to take a more active roll in our sons health for his future.  As you know I have been working really hard to hit the 100 pounds lost point.  So today when I got home the kids asked me what I weighed.  I told them and all I am going to say right now is....I am soooooo close!  So Seth was dancing around all crazy and Tony made the statement, "I wish you would get that excited about your own weight loss."  Well at first I thought it was a tough but yet truthful comment.  Tony and I know what it is like to be over weight and we do not want to see our children follow those same footsteps.  I thought to myself I bet Seth's  BMI is as high as mine almost.  So I plugged in both of our statistics and what happened next shocked and saddened me.  Seth is 4'11" and weighs in at 153  I am 5'10" and weigh in at 225.  So Seth's current BMI is 31.....mine is 32.3.  How is it that we have allowed our 11 year old to become so obese?  For years I tried to place the blame to my genetics, my own health, ect but in reality it was ME who choose to eat unhealthy, it was ME who chose not to exercise, it was ME who chose to allow myself to wreck havic with my health.  As a parent how much can I do to help my children be as healthy as they can be?  Well I do the shopping, so I guess the treats are going to have to go since we can not just "treat" ourselves once in a while, as a parent I am the who who designates how much "screen" time my children get, and most importantly I have to model the behavior I want my kids to have.  So even though my lifestyle has changed almost completely around I need to be more observant of what I am eating, how much I am exercising and if I am totally modeling a healthy lifestyle. 

Don't get me wrong.  I do not plan to take all the goodies out of our home, never let the kids have screen time and harp about getting healthy but like anything else it is time to make this a priority in our lives.  I know what it is like to be the biggest kid in the class, the biggest kid on the team, I know what your joints feel like carrying around all that extra weight.  I want Seth to have the best opportunity he can to live a healthy, happy, athletic life if he so chooses. 

When I set out on this Lap Band Journey I knew it would affect our whole family.  When I shop there is far more fruits and vegetables in my cart.  I spend a lot of time outside now which is wonderful since usually the girls will join me.  But what I know the most and I preach constantly is, until the person is ready to make a change there is nothing I can do to make them change.  But for Seth I can limit food choices, amounts and the amount of inactivity in our home. 

If anyone has any tips on how to help your kids be healthy please share.  Seth loves sports and he is involved year round in some kind of sport but he is also year round having a large appetite and does not seem to understand portions. 

I know that I am not the first mom who has had this concern nor will I be the last but I want the best for my kids and that includes a healthy life. 

To fill or not to fill??

So last Thursday I was faced with the decision weather or not I should get a fill in my band.  I had not had a fill since December 7th and typically fills are given every 4-5 weeks.  Since I was doing so well my doctor gave me the option to work the program on my own for as long as I could and if I started gaining, having problems or the scale stopped I could give him a shout and we could give me a fill.  Well we all know that I am bull headed so I wanted to keep trying on my own.  In the last 2 months I had only lost 7 pounds.  So on Thursday I went in and the PA and I talked about it and we decided that we would take the conservative route and give me a small fill.  Well she was having a hard time getting the fluid in so Dr Rohrscheibe came in and worked his magic.  I have a feeling that he put in more than she would have but that is okay.  I am feeling pretty restricted.  As far as weight loss I am at 6 pounds since Thursday but the first few days I was eating mainly liquids.  We also discussed that I am having problems with meat especially so their is concern about me getting enough protein.  I am back to trying to drink a protein shake a day so hopefully this is the jump start I was needing.  I am so close to the 100 pound mark and I plan to have a special blog to commemorate the event. 

I am so very busy with my kids and all their ball games.  Working full time still.  Went to a school board training the other day and learned alot!!!  Our vacations are just around the corner so I am soooo busy!  Sorry I have not been blogging much but I am so loving being a mom and spending time outside rather than sitting on the couch with a lap top in my lap.  Well take care and I hope the 100 pound mark comes any day now! 

New Hobby

So as some of you may know, we decided to plant a garden this year.  Everyone was so excited, they were all going to plant, water, weed and harvest.  Well so far we have planted twice on some items due to the pesky rabbits.  I have been weeding and watering.  Raegyn I have to say has been the best helper in regards to the kids and Tony has helped out in my garden too.  So the Garden and now my flowers are becoming my new hobby rather than eating!  I seem to have so much more energy, I am physically able to do the work easier now, and I am not so hot so I enjoy being outside working.  It is great exercise too.  So today like I said I needed to replant some items that have been eaten by the rabbits.  They ate all of our broccoli and our peas so the girls asked me if we could try water melon and Cantaloupe and of course since I am a softy I said sure.  I decided that we needed more corn so I also planted more corn today where the peas once were.  While I was out in the garden center today I seen to perennials marked down and I thought hummmm they look like then need a home!  So I bought them and planted them in front of my house.  Since I have been focusing on my garden and spent some start up money on it I still have not planted my flower pots.  That is my goal for the week but gosh flowers are not cheap!  I have been to a few area garden centers and I think tomorrow I am just going to go to my ole standby Urbana Meijer and get some annuals. 

I have never really understood how people can enjoy gardening well until this year when I have been able to truly enjoy it as a hobby rather than as work.  I pray that my plants all do well.  I am a newbie to all this but I am learning as I go and having fun trying! 

This week is filled with work, 4 baseball games, 2 doctors appointments and maybe some pool time.  Over the weekend I am going to a school board presidents training session on Saturday and then the kids and I are participating in the Relay for Life event in Champaign County.  If you would like to support us while we help raise money for the American Cancer Society let me know and I will send you our link online or you can make a donation to me in person. 

I hope you have had a great Monday, I know I have!  Take Care!  Jane 

What have you been up to??

That is probably what some of you are asking about me.  I have been so busy overall being a mom!  It is the best job in the world.  All three of my kids are playing ball this summer and so even though we are very busy it is a great thing.  My day consists of work, pool and the ball park.  Somehow I have to fit some housework and sleep in there too. 

I apologize that it has been a while since I posted but overall the update is the same.  I have officially plateaued.  Most people would consider this a bad thing but for the first time in my life I am thrilled that the scale is staying put and sometimes going down slowly.  I have found the last few weeks to be so interesting since I know what the scale says but boy have I been getting a lot of great attention lately.  So many people have commented on how well I look lately a can tell I am really losing alot of weight.  I have truly only lost 5 pounds in the last 2 months according to Christie clinic scales.  Since I have seemed to plateau I have decided it is time to make an appointment with Dr Rohrscheibe so next Thursday I am going in for a possible tune up.  I may get a fill or I may just get a little bit of motivation and nutrition counseling.  I had a few weeks it seemed like I couldn't eat meat but the last week has been better. 

The best thing that I can say about the last few weeks/months is I am truly amazed but how great I feel and how much energy and confidence I have.  I am starting to feel like a lovely lady possibly for the first time in my life.  I seemed to loose alot of confidence over the past few years but lately I want to dress like a lady, wear nice jewelry, and look like a hot mama!  LOL  I went swimsuit shopping the other day and it was actually fun! 

Well to say that I am on the top of the world personally is an understatement.  Physically and mentally I feel wonderful and I am truly proud of myself.  I have learned so much about myself, nutrition, and especially determination.  I feel like I am truly being successful after this life change and it feels like it is making other areas of my life that much better. 

I thought I would close with some recent pictures.  I hope that I am able to inspire you to do something for yourself today.  To be the best mom, wife, employee ect you have to take care of YOU!!!  Have a wonderful day and weekend!

This was June 2010  Yikes!!!

This was June 2011  I personally think I look a little big here but several think I look wonderful.  I guess we always find ourselves to look less flattering than we are.

This is my new swimsuit.  I would have NEVER posted a picture like this 93 pounds ago.