Too Blessed To Be Stressed

     Well it has been a little over a month since I had my Lap-Band revision.  I have to say the first week I did really great and lost a few pounds then life got back to normal.  At this point I am really about right where I started.  I had to go in yesterday for a check-up and I have to say I was a little hesitant since I knew that the scale doesn’t lie and it wasn’t going to be kind to me and lie to make me feel better.  As I walked in and the gorgeous September sun shown on my face I got thinking how my clothes actually seem to be fitting better, some recent labs had shown some good signs of positive change.  So when I checked in I thought, what do I have to be stressed about??? I am so blessed!  I have opportunities to help me get healthier, I have friends and family who are willing to help me and darn it, this time the journey might go slower but I am going to enjoy the journey this time.  I met with Laurie and she is so sweet and reassuring.  She was happy with my progress.  She reminded me that the day of surgery Dr. Rohrschibe took out a cc of insulin.  My response was I have 3 still in there I thought so shouldn't I feel more restricted??  She said nope, Jane you have like 1/3 of a cc currently in your band.  WHAT????  I have been doing pretty good with no help?  Hot Dogs!!!  So she put in 1 cc of saline and told me that I am a rock star and I will achieve all of my goals and just be patient that it isn’t going to be as fast this time, but that is okay. I will go back in a month and get another fill if I feel that I need it.  I love that I am in charge of my care!  

               In the past month I have tried to work on the entire me.  I have been reading a couple of books, looking for ways to be inspired and sway away from drama.  I have always had a hard time saying no and I am starting to get a little better about that and not feeling as guilty about it.  In October Tony and I are headed to Florida for a wedding and sure I may not have a beach body but I know that we will have a great time together enjoying the beach.  I have a couple of goals that I want to achieve before I go.  I am going to work hard to achieve them but if it doesn’t happen I can know that every step is on the path to a better lifestyle. 

               I appreciate the support I have gotten to this point and if I can help you please don’t ever hesitate to ask!  Jane

Big news in regards to my weight loss journey.

So if you are one to follow the blog you know back in February around my 40th birthday I decided it was time for me to start looking our for me and my health more.  I had done so great a few years ago around 2010 to drop a lot of weight.  I went from 324 down to 209.  Overall I was doing great but during that time  of 2013 I started to gain again.  It had to be me not watching what I ate so carefully, wasn't getting enough exercise so I began to deprive myself of food which is not good for healthy weight loss and  I was  exercising  to much and too hard.  I ended up with a stress fracture in my right foot as we all remember required years of boots, casts, surgeries and physical therapy.  In the fall I told myself you need to get back on taking care of you but don't do it until you are all in!  So for my 40th birthday I gave myself another nudge.  I started trying to walk more, watch what I ate and be aware of what  I ate and how such.  I met with my primary to find out that my blood sugar was high so we were going to try some meds for that and she encouraged me to get back to getting fills in my Lapband.  Well it had been a long time since I did that and when I went back we put in some fluid,  then about a month later we put a little more in.  So at that point ideally I had some restriction in my band, I was trying to walk more, eat better, and get more emotionally in tune.  Well I got frustrated because from one fill appointment to the next I gain 4 pounds in a month.  Sure I had a few cheats and such but what the heck?  My Dr. Sidney Rohrscibe then shared with me about 3 years ago he suspected that I had a hole in my band and that is why I was gaining weight.  That is when I came MIA from him because I was taking care of my foot problems, depressed and just not motivated to work the program hence gaining a lot of my weight back.  :(  Sure enough he checked my band and I should have had 3 1/2 cc's in my band and I had less than one.  So this meant I need to go back in and replace the port of my band.  On Thursday the 19th I went in for outpatient surgery and thankfully I only needed the port replaced with its tubing.  I am doing great today, feel very motivated to get back to a healthy weight again.  I will say this has been a tough emotional journey.  I know that the band leak has nothing to do with anything I did or didn't do.  I try to stop the negative thoughts that I have failed again in my weight loss journey.

Weight is something that many folks battle with.  For me blogging about it helps me track and share about my journey but most of all I do it to inspire others.  I have encouraged a couple to get back tuned in on their Lapband journey, I have talked to others thinking about looking at the Lapband.   I have many who have felt inspired to do little things for their health and that is great.  It is not easy by any means!!   I am an open book I can tell you the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Something ugly today is how bruised my stomach is but I guess no pain no lose in my case.

If you are a follower, you know I am  not one to ever hide the facts.  I got to 301 this time when I said enough is enough.  Yesterday before surgery I had gotten down to 287.  So I have set many goals with rewards, getting my nails done, day trip get away with the family, and overnight with Tony, and possibly a purse when I hit 225.  That is a good weight for me but I will work very carefully with my team to get to a good weight for me after that.  Team that is a big thing!  I have many on my team: My Lapband doctor and his staff that are all great, my primary, my social worker, my gym, and more importantly my family and friends.

I ask for encouragement and I am always willing to chat with you about my journey and such.  Life is a journey, every one's is different but that is why us helping makes it easier!  I will use this as a way to share my journey.  Pictures from yesterday are attached!

Monday Blah's

So Monday is my weigh in morning.  Each time when I step on the scale I remind myself that the number does not define me or the dedication that I am putting in.  Well I got on the scale and it was not being kind, it said I was up roughly 2 pounds.  GRRR!!!  Well of course I run thru all the things that I had eaten last week and thinking well duh, you had a birthday cupcake at your niece’s birthday party, you stopped at Starbucks twice, you actually have been eating more frequently so surely that is what happened.  STOP THE INSANITY JANE!!!  I am not referring to not enjoying life, I am referring to Jane it is okay.  I have to type that for the world to see so I can realize that this is a journey and no road is smooth especially when you live in IL.  Today I also went to see my social worker.  I shared with her how I blog and I am probably a little abnormal when I do since I am so honest someone to give others a glimpse into my head but also to let others know they are not alone in whatever trials they are experiencing.  She and I talked about how I have fears this time.  I am afraid of becoming obsessed with watching what I eat and exercising too much.  Not exactly what she expected I would say.  She reminded me that I should always enjoy my food, but maybe do something in moderation.  As far as exercise, there is nothing wrong with finding ways to get some movement in with my family and friends and still feel like I am making good choices.  I never said this would be easy but in closing of our session somehow we got talking about my mom and her last days.  Weird huh!  Well she was almost in tears, I was fine, till I left and realized that this is why I HAVE to take care of me.  I cannot change my genetics but I can control what I eat, how I treat my body, how I treat my mind.  I deserve it! 

I have a favor to ask:  I am looking for a few ideas of incentives I can reward myself with as I work towards weight, fitness goals and such.  Also snacks!!  OMG  I love to nibble especially at my desk.  I am looking for good snacks that do not have a lot of sugar due to my slight blood sugar problem right now and unfortunately I struggle eating raw veggies because I don’t digest them well with my band.  So that is your challenge: Incentives and snacks! 

Probably Thursday after my appointment for my band I will check back in and update you with the good the bad and the ugly!  Do something great for yourself, You deserve it!!  

The Battle Over Obesity

I wish I could say that I had concurred the beast but I can’t.  I’ll introduce some new readers to my journey versus obesity.  My weightloss journey  began in 2010 when I decided that I was going to change my life forever and have the Lap-Band procedure done.  To this day I am glad that I decided to put my health and me in general at the top of the list of needs in my life.  I had my surgery after reaching 325 pounds.  Over the course of about a year and a half I went from 325 down to 209 pound.  My goal was to become “onederful” in the 100’s.  My primary doctor at the time wanted me to strive for 175 maybe even 150 pounds.  When I was around 209 I had hit a point of insanity.  My day typically consisted up to 3 hours of working out and depriving myself of food and defiantly treats.  I got to a point that I would not let myself have even a Hershey kiss.  Well thankfully my husband told me that my new addiction had gotten out of hand.  What I did not realize I was I had a food addiction.  When I felt happy, I ate.  When I felt sad, I ate.  When I was with friends, I ate.  I  ATE AND ATE.  Once I started to drop the weight, I decided all I wanted to do was exercise and I better not dare eat because I can’t gain weight again!  This was not part of my plan.  I started to relax for a while and that got me to my best weight of around 225.  I continued to use my treadmill at home and started to experience pain in my right foot. Come to find out I had a stress fracture in my 4^th metatarsal and ended up experiencing multiple months in a boot or cast, 2 surgeries and a summer of physical therapy to get my foot back into a regular shoe and be able to walk without pain in every step over the next 3 years.  During this time I was not getting any fills in my band because I needed to take care of my foot and I can’t be exercising so it will all be okay.   In the Fall of 2015 I could walk again and I was relieved of that but realized that I had let myself come in last in regards of priorities and I had returned to weighing almost 300 pounds.  For a while I told myself how I had failed, I was a failure, I would never get back into shape and what was the point??  Depression took over my emotions, I started to eat all the time just to sooth myself.  I have to say beginning of this spring I started to really not like the person I had become.  Sure I had good intentions but talk is cheap unless you do something about it.  In April I realized that emotionally I needed to get back on track.  I have always been open to share that a great member of my wellness team has always been a good social worker.  I called a lady that I had clicked with previously and said I wanted to come in and let’s work on me some.  At this time I also started to have some symptoms that mimicked diabetes.  My mom was on medication for diabetes, my dad takes insulin and I had gestational diabetes.  I shared my symptoms with my doctor and we went ahead and did labs and to her surprise my sugar was up significantly enough where I too needed to get on some meds and change what I was doing.  I often think many of us just need a kick in the butt to get our motivation kick started.  This is what it took for me.  So since April I have been seeing my social worker friend again, started taking metformin for my diabetes, watching what I eat, I have gotten my band filled, being very conscious of my food choices, how I talk to myself and trying to get more steps in each day.  Of course not every day goes great nor am I perfect but I have went from 305 to 289 in the last few weeks.  I drink my protein every morning, trying to figure out how to beat my chocolate cravings (Sugar Free Fudge Pops!) and try to be mindful of my portions.  This past week my daughter Raegyn and I have started the Daniel Plan.  The core principles of the Daniel Plan are Faith, Food, Fitness, Focus, and Friends.  So far Raegyn and I have set our goals and are working the plan together.  We both have different focus areas which is good for us.  I use My Fitness Pal to track my food, water, and such.  I use my Fitbit to track my steps.  I have friends and of course my family supporting me. 

               This time around I have different goals.  I want to focus on my health more than the scale which is hard for me.  I am a number person.  I have set more realistic goals this time.  Right now my first big goal is 249.  After than we will try to work out a plan for 225.  Who knows how long it will take but it doesn’t matter.  Obesity is a disease, one that typically wins if you let it.  I will always be obese and I am okay with that.  No matter how hard I try I won’t get down to the chart hanging in the doctor’s office.  My goal is to work hard, take care of myself and not let weight loss take over my life in a negative way.  I encourage you to follow my journey, encourage me, keep me accountable and give me tips on what has worked for you.  I am not in this alone so be a part of my team.  I have things like genetics and depression working against me so my fight will take many tools to keep it in check.  Right now I feel like I can hang with this beast.