Friday, October 24, 2014
I am so thankful for 2nd, 3rd 4th chances and more. The journey of a healthy lifestyle is a very hard thing to stay on track of for me it seems. I have had so many ups and downs in the past 4 years since I had my Lap-Band procedure in October 2010. It does not seem like it has been that long!! During that time I have switched jobs, my kids have gotten a lot more active so we are on the road a lot, I have had two surgeries for a break in my foot, and just life…..life is hard! When I write, I write for myself and as you know I make myself very vulnerable, I choose to share my feelings in hopes that I can inspire others. I have recently started communicating with someone who has also had lap-band surgery and was frankly at a stand-still and frankly very frustrated. I had a couple of great conversations with her and she has expressed how I have inspired her so much and she feels like she has hope now. Well I shared that with Tony my husband and cried as I told him. How can I inspire anyone when I can’t seem to inspire myself to try to be positive and get back on track to a healthy life-style? Last week I had a moment where I threw my hands up in the air and said I need help. Tony and I had a couple of tearful talks and I decided that I was going to start on making baby steps to head back on the track to a healthy lifestyle.
Monday morning came and I stepped on the scale, now mind you, I know I have been gaining and frankly not happy about it. Monday I stepped on, looked down and nearly cried. What had I allowed to happen in the last year and a half since my fracture in my foot??? Well no exercise, depression, two foot surgery one that put a plate and 4 screws in my foot and then one to remove them has caused me to get off of track. I am not using my foot injury as the only liable culprit in this weight gain but when you take away the opportunity to walk/run on a treadmill since April of 2013 and then all the drama that has gone with the injury, surgeries and time to rehab I became an emotional mess, and chocolate and such seemed to be my fix L.
Monday after I got off of the scale I proceeded to do as planned, I went to the kitchen took my meds and vitamins and then proceeded to make 2 protein shakes. I have had a protein shake each morning, and one at lunch and then trying to eat a sensible meal at night. Night time is when it is hard for me. I am trying to stay as normal as possible but yet not get to overboard like I have in the past. Tony took me last night to DQ for a treat and a part of me panicked. What was I going to have…..well I had a smoothie, probably not the best but it was not my usually tuxedo chocolate blizzard.
I am looking forward to getting back on track and seeing how I can be successful again and get healthy again. I had my stitches out of my foot the other day and I am feeling better but not great yet. I am eager to get back on my treadmill but I know that I need to take a few more weeks to let my foot heal for good this time. In the mean-time I am going to work on me. I am going to try to eat sensibly, try to be positive, make small changes and look forwards not backwards. I look forward to setting new goals and achieving them. Most importantly this time I am going to be more realistic and enjoy the journey and quit worrying about the finish-line. I have a magic number again but if I inch my way back to that number in a healthy way…..that is all that matters, even if I don’t hit it. Feel free to join me on my journey, encourage me, and hold me accountable. Also feel free to share my journey. I am not an expert about Lap-Band but I am not ashamed to say I have a Lap-Band and I have had some mountains and valleys with it. I am more than willing to talk to anyone who has questions or might just need to be inspired. Thank you and God Bless You! Jane